As many of you are already aware by now am sure I have the ambition to be a paramedic. Being in the Red Cross and going out on duties I have mixed with quite a number of paramedics and watch the work they do and I have nothing but admiration for them. I’m also a keen reader of an online blog written by a paramedic (The Paramedic’s Diary) where he documents the callouts he has (edited for confidentiality, of course) and his thoughts and feelings on the job and the people he comes across.

Stuart Gray has published a few books in his time of being a paramedic, and he recently posted a link to this one in his blog. ‘The Street Medic’s Survival Guide’ and it looks superb. Definitely on my wishlist for Christmas! Here’s a description from SP Services:

The Street Medic’s Survival Guide has been written by an experienced frontline paramedic to fill a void that exists for everyone embarking on the journey into the profession. Even if you are just thinking about becoming a paramedic, this book will take you through the realities of the job – the stuff they don’t tell you in training school or university.

Written with humour and common sense by the author of ‘A Paramedic’s Diary – Life and Death on the Streets’, the book will open your eyes before you embark on the long, arduous training programme that is standard for paramedics-to-be. Everything you need to know about ‘out there’ is in here, including:

• The recruitment and training process
• Salary and work conditions
• How to use the radio properly without making a fool of yourself
• How to wear uniform properly, including how to iron it!
• Call types and how to handle stress

With illustrations and real-life examples throughout, this book is destined to become the ‘how to’ bible of paramedicine.

Woohoo!!!

I’m starting to worry over these exams in January already, which probably sounds really daft,  but I need good grades. I’m totally putting myself into this course because I want to get to uni and do the course I want to do.

Anyway I’m still trying to find work. I didn’t hear back from a homecare agency I had an interview with, which disheartened me a bit. I have decent qualifications relevant, have been on training courses to do with the job and have had great experience. I’m thinking the hours I put down on the application form worked against my favour. I put down a few hours here, a few hours there (to work around college) but homecare agencies want persistance, so that you can have the same clients the same time, every day. I’ve applied for an auxiliary nursing position at a hospital and I’ve got two more application forms for day centre sorta places. I would happily take anything at the moment!

I have my interview tomorrow, I think I know where my certificates are and I need to look for something to wear!

I tried making skin tonight for the casualty simulation practice I’m having on Friday. It’s made with stale breadcrumbs and water and make it into a dough, and you can add colouring to adjust the tone to go with the skin. It looks ok but I think I’ll practice more tomorrow. I’ve ordered my blood and it should be here this week, then *HOPEFULLY* I’ll be all ready for next week. I’m helping out promoting the Red Cross and their services by doing wounds on small children in a supermarket car park. I’m a little nervous about it, mainly because it’s children!

I got confirmation about my counselling appointment today, the soonest one she has is the 31st July. I hope I don’t need to wait that long between each appointment!

Tomorrow Jim is coming down and then we’re driving to his for the weekend, I can’t wait. Meeting the family too which is pretty scary but they seem ok and hopefully it’ll go well.

Anyway I had better go now, see yaz!

Work today was nonstop busy. Started with handover which took an hour because the person giving it just couldn’t stop gassing, then started our rounds which took 3 hours then we had three tenants who were unwell, one with heart problems, other severe constipation and another one who had really bad nose bleeds. I spent a lot of time with the one who had nose bleeds and it was due to her not taking her BP medication, although she wouldn’t admit to it. Oh no, would she heck. I spent a good amount of time in her flat yesterday trying to explain and the evidence she wasn’t taking her medication properly were right there infront of her. Tonight after spending time in her flat trying to explain and comfort her I think I needed the BP medication to lower mine! Haha

My arm has been hurting like CRAZY the past few days. It’s hurting right now. Last night I tried putting a support bandage around it and it seemed to help a little but not much, I just couldn’t settle down last night at all and was up about 4am mastering Suduku!! I actually finished a puzzle too YAY!!!

Was talking to my Red Cross manager and they’ve managed to find me a makeup kit for the casualty simulation and I’m todging over that. Can’t wait to play with it. I was asked to go for an exhibition for first aid to do makeup and casualty stuff but it’s the weekend I’m going to Widnes to spend time with my lovely boyfriend and have a BBQ etc if weather is right, been planned for a while now.

Anyway my mum is visiting at the moment and she’s eating Mint Imperials. Driving me absolutely crazy. Eat quietly. Stop crunching. Suck the sweet until it’s tiny then swallow it, ok? Please? As if.

2009 has got off to such a crap start, my head feels overwhelmed with everything and I can’t think straight. I don’t know what I’m doing, where I’m going, what to do next or anything. Was hoping to make this year productive but now… I feel so unmotivated, it’s hard. Really hard. Got my payslip today too and was expecting a decent one as I’ve worked all through Christmas, full time, including triple pay for Christmas/New Year but what I got paid was absolutely appauling. The worst payslip I have had since I’ve been there.

When are things going to go right? Seriously. NOTHING has gone right.

Yes, I’m in one of them moods. Ignore me.

Speaking of dangerous I can’t remember if I mentioned my dads ex or not… it’s a long story but basically she’s being a right bitch and is trying to make our lives hell. Tonight I was threatened, police called again. Didn’t do much, said they couldn’t do much. If I’m followed or get any trouble at all or see anyone suspicious they told me to call 999.

Still in work… just… review coming up re job share in December, haven’t a clue whats going to happen (which isn’t fair really) but I have told my boss I’ll stay on through Christmas and New Year.

Red Cross.. my name has been put forward to go on a resusication support course on sunday, one step further to being on the ambulances. I remember back last year I was allowed on the 4×4 at a racecourse and it was such fun, I was going speeding over a HUGE bump thank goodness I had a seatbelt on, shame the other red cross dude (who gave me the keys in first place) didn’t. I should have given him a head injury info card. 

Relationship… still with Callie

Pets… Snap, Crackle and Pop still don’t like me… well, Pop and Crackle are ok with me but wont let me hold them properly yet. Snap on the other hand, the white albino, is a bastard because he keeps biting me!! He bites me and I pull my hands away but the little shite is still hanging from my finger. Aw, can’t help but love ‘em though.

Family.. well my mum wants to have another baby so who knows… maybe I’ll have a little brother/sister in future… my dad isn’t too bad, uncle is having relationship problems and has been living in a car, he moved back to England but we’ve told him there’s a spare bed here if he wants to crash for a few nights or something.

So.. there ya are.

I had a one-to-one meeting with my boss towards the end of last week, a personal development plan, basically talking about how your year has been and plans for next year etc… it was like a school report but reading between the lines I got an A* and need to ask my dad for more pocket money. :-p

I say that, but last night I was called into the managers office and was asked to bring my P45 with me… I was up in the communal lounge looking through the photos from all the years and found some of my deputy sporting all sorts of different hairstyles and fashion, dare I say, disasters. :-p I sent the photos down the office and my colleague tells me I have been called into her office, so I go downstairs and ask her if she’d like my locker key as well and we all started laughing.

I almost did something awful last night, there’s one tenant who’s a double amputee – has no legs – I walk into her flat and she’s smoking. Sometimes when I see people smoking I make small comments and last night I was about to say to her, “you shouldn’t smoke, it’ll stump your growth” but thankfully I stopped myself, my brain got into gear just in time! Although, knowing that tenant, she’d have laughed at the comment, but still, how embarrassing would it have been if I said that? Would have wanted the ground to swallow me. v_v

*sighs*

My brain is in such a frazzle I can’t even think about how to get my future started. Knowing me it won’t work out anyway, or I end up causing more pain and suffering in the ambulance service than actually helping. My biggest fear is if I ever get to that stage, a patient of mine dying on my first shift. Whether it be a fault of mine or due to their significant health problems, I just really don’t want that to happen but I guess it would be a reality check. No doubt there will be plenty of times where a patient is critically ill on arrival to hospital.

I am genuinely caring and I find the human body facinating, I also love driving and it would be an exciting and rewarding job. I’ve thought about nursing but I wouldn’t like to work in a hospital all the time. I’ve thought about medicine and becoming a doctor but it’s a very long route and I certainly don’t have the brains for that.

Oh, I don’t know. Whatever happens, happens.

Well… I’ll tell you one thing that’s on my mind a lot, first. My job!! *sighs* I am on a 3 month job share and it started earlier this month. The other day I got my payslip and OMG I had such a shock, I’m getting a lot less than I thought I would be… my basic pay is something stupid and all the overtime I did last month I don’t get until next month. Due to direct debits I have a good few hundred going out of my account each month, a day after I get paid, now I’m left with very little of it. I have been thinking a lot about it and am considering going for another job. The one I’m in now, sure I enjoy it and I love my colleagues, but it’s dead-end. The pay isn’t all that grand either, to be honest.

My dad has been talking a lot about his girlfriend and I’m pretty much tired of it. I haven’t said, I keep my mouth zipped but she’s all he talks about, he’s worse than a love struck teenager. Hehe It’s nice and all that that they love each other like they do but gee…

I tidied my room too! Shock, horror. The thing is, it’s nice when it’s done but how long does it last?? We have a decent sized house but have so much stuff here, many of which we don’t use. Dad and I were talking about holding a bootsale yesterday and it’s a good idea. He said he’ll talk to his girlfriend about it, because she goes to a lot of bootsales.

Anyway I’m doing washing at the moment… when my step-mum died a few years ago I had to learn everything from scratch. How to do washing, cooking etc… because her good nature meant she wouldn’t let us. I have been using tablets in the washing but today I put washing powder in the machine and I’m getting visions now of the whole kitchen floor being flooded with soap. I washed it once this morning, but I guess another wash wouldn’t do it any harm…

Family Life

Well I don’t know where to start, really. It would be my step-mums birthday today and I’m finding that alone hard to deal with. We were going to go to the cemetery today but we didn’t because the weather has been so appauling her grave is right up the top of the cemetery and my dad won’t be able to get there, so we’re hoping to go tomorrow. I come from from town this morning to see my dad with his head in his arms and his voice ‘hidden’ like he was going to cry. I asked him what was wrong, thinking it was to do with my stepmum’s birthday, but he said his ‘lady friend’ has asked him to marry him.

Oh yes, his lady friend. He told me not so long ago he is seeing someone else, and has been seeing her for 3 months, but neglected to tell me in worry of how I’d react. She is in her thirties and she is a nice girl but it did come as a shock and I am finding it hard to adjust to, not that I’m telling my dad that. I’ve given dad the impression I am perfectly fine with his relationship with her, but on the inside, I’m not as comfortable as I make out to be. It’s not so much the age difference, it’s the whole new relationship thing, I don’t know, maybe I sound selfish or something. Anyway to hear my dad say she wants to get married… it came as a shock. My dad hasn’t said yes or no, he said he’ll think it over. But today of all days! What a day to bring that up.

My mum hasn’t been in contact with me for a while. Did I mention she moved house and didn’t even tell me? I only found out via passing conversation with her boyfriend’s mum. We were just generally chatting (I see her at work quite a bit) and she said “… your mum sounds happy in her new house… ” …. wow, wow, woooow… hang on, she’s moved?? I’d have thought she’d have told me. So I contacted her and she said she has moved and gave me her address.

Callum and I are still going strong (and yes, I put him in family life because he is a part of my family!). We went to London last weekend to see some friends and we had a great time. We’ve been together almost 1 and half years now.

Work life

Errrrrrrrm…. well, my contract should have been up 8th August but I’m still working full time as the decision about the job share hasn’t come through yet from the ‘top bosses’ and I’m just taking it week by week now. The girl I’m covering for should have returned on the 11th but she doesn’t want to work full time so she’s been taking leave. It’s week by week. I should hear back next week (well, I should have head back last week…). My boss can’t do anymore, it’s the continuation of the waiting game! It doesn’t look good though, from what my boss has said about the council and fact that the girl I’m covering isn’t willing to cover me if I’m off on the sick or on leave… the council may well not accept the application for a job share, as it’s not 50-50. I hate being left haning like this, it’s really unfair.

Red Cross

Well I did a few shifts at the Eisteddfod last week and it went well… my fave was covering the concert in the Pavillion, it was a music concert and I met Cerys Matthews However, by the time Monday got here I was totally exhausted. The last week really caught up with me.