Hmm well I haven’t updated for a while.. first of, relating to last post, someone contacted me the other day about the traffic situation on that particular road where drivers should ‘give way’ but they don’t, they said they were going to go down the road and have a look themselves and pass it onto the traffic management team (or something) who will do something about it because I don’t care what anyone says, it IS dangerous.

Speaking of dangerous I can’t remember if I mentioned my dads ex or not… it’s a long story but basically she’s being a right bitch and is trying to make our lives hell. Tonight I was threatened, police called again. Didn’t do much, said they couldn’t do much. If I’m followed or get any trouble at all or see anyone suspicious they told me to call 999.

Still in work… just… review coming up re job share in December, haven’t a clue whats going to happen (which isn’t fair really) but I have told my boss I’ll stay on through Christmas and New Year.

Red Cross.. my name has been put forward to go on a resusication support course on sunday, one step further to being on the ambulances. I remember back last year I was allowed on the 4×4 at a racecourse and it was such fun, I was going speeding over a HUGE bump thank goodness I had a seatbelt on, shame the other red cross dude (who gave me the keys in first place) didn’t. I should have given him a head injury info card. 

Relationship… still with Callie

Pets… Snap, Crackle and Pop still don’t like me… well, Pop and Crackle are ok with me but wont let me hold them properly yet. Snap on the other hand, the white albino, is a bastard because he keeps biting me!! He bites me and I pull my hands away but the little shite is still hanging from my finger. Aw, can’t help but love ‘em though.

Family.. well my mum wants to have another baby so who knows… maybe I’ll have a little brother/sister in future… my dad isn’t too bad, uncle is having relationship problems and has been living in a car, he moved back to England but we’ve told him there’s a spare bed here if he wants to crash for a few nights or something.

So.. there ya are.

I’ve had a chest cold and it sure is dragging, I’m still coughing, last night and this morning I have been sick with it, makes you feel bloody awful.

I had a one-to-one meeting with my boss towards the end of last week, a personal development plan, basically talking about how your year has been and plans for next year etc… it was like a school report but reading between the lines I got an A* and need to ask my dad for more pocket money. :-p

I say that, but last night I was called into the managers office and was asked to bring my P45 with me… I was up in the communal lounge looking through the photos from all the years and found some of my deputy sporting all sorts of different hairstyles and fashion, dare I say, disasters. :-p I sent the photos down the office and my colleague tells me I have been called into her office, so I go downstairs and ask her if she’d like my locker key as well and we all started laughing.

I almost did something awful last night, there’s one tenant who’s a double amputee - has no legs - I walk into her flat and she’s smoking. Sometimes when I see people smoking I make small comments and last night I was about to say to her, “you shouldn’t smoke, it’ll stump your growth” but thankfully I stopped myself, my brain got into gear just in time! Although, knowing that tenant, she’d have laughed at the comment, but still, how embarrassing would it have been if I said that? Would have wanted the ground to swallow me. v_v

Current Mood: Tired

*sighs*

My brain is in such a frazzle I can’t even think about how to get my future started. Knowing me it won’t work out anyway, or I end up causing more pain and suffering in the ambulance service than actually helping. My biggest fear is if I ever get to that stage, a patient of mine dying on my first shift. Whether it be a fault of mine or due to their significant health problems, I just really don’t want that to happen but I guess it would be a reality check. No doubt there will be plenty of times where a patient is critically ill on arrival to hospital.

I am genuinely caring and I find the human body facinating, I also love driving and it would be an exciting and rewarding job. I’ve thought about nursing but I wouldn’t like to work in a hospital all the time. I’ve thought about medicine and becoming a doctor but it’s a very long route and I certainly don’t have the brains for that.

Oh, I don’t know. Whatever happens, happens.

That’s the latest episode of Gerbil Life over and done with… now it’s time for my life…

Well… I’ll tell you one thing that’s on my mind a lot, first. My job!! *sighs* I am on a 3 month job share and it started earlier this month. The other day I got my payslip and OMG I had such a shock, I’m getting a lot less than I thought I would be… my basic pay is something stupid and all the overtime I did last month I don’t get until next month. Due to direct debits I have a good few hundred going out of my account each month, a day after I get paid, now I’m left with very little of it. I have been thinking a lot about it and am considering going for another job. The one I’m in now, sure I enjoy it and I love my colleagues, but it’s dead-end. The pay isn’t all that grand either, to be honest.

My dad has been talking a lot about his girlfriend and I’m pretty much tired of it. I haven’t said, I keep my mouth zipped but she’s all he talks about, he’s worse than a love struck teenager. Hehe It’s nice and all that that they love each other like they do but gee…

I tidied my room too! Shock, horror. The thing is, it’s nice when it’s done but how long does it last?? We have a decent sized house but have so much stuff here, many of which we don’t use. Dad and I were talking about holding a bootsale yesterday and it’s a good idea. He said he’ll talk to his girlfriend about it, because she goes to a lot of bootsales.

Anyway I’m doing washing at the moment… when my step-mum died a few years ago I had to learn everything from scratch. How to do washing, cooking etc… because her good nature meant she wouldn’t let us. I have been using tablets in the washing but today I put washing powder in the machine and I’m getting visions now of the whole kitchen floor being flooded with soap. I washed it once this morning, but I guess another wash wouldn’t do it any harm…

I know I said I’d post an update last night but I really didn’t feel like it, but I’ll write up a quick one now…

Family Life

Well I don’t know where to start, really. It would be my step-mums birthday today and I’m finding that alone hard to deal with. We were going to go to the cemetery today but we didn’t because the weather has been so appauling her grave is right up the top of the cemetery and my dad won’t be able to get there, so we’re hoping to go tomorrow. I come from from town this morning to see my dad with his head in his arms and his voice ‘hidden’ like he was going to cry. I asked him what was wrong, thinking it was to do with my stepmum’s birthday, but he said his ‘lady friend’ has asked him to marry him.

Oh yes, his lady friend. He told me not so long ago he is seeing someone else, and has been seeing her for 3 months, but neglected to tell me in worry of how I’d react. She is in her thirties and she is a nice girl but it did come as a shock and I am finding it hard to adjust to, not that I’m telling my dad that. I’ve given dad the impression I am perfectly fine with his relationship with her, but on the inside, I’m not as comfortable as I make out to be. It’s not so much the age difference, it’s the whole new relationship thing, I don’t know, maybe I sound selfish or something. Anyway to hear my dad say she wants to get married… it came as a shock. My dad hasn’t said yes or no, he said he’ll think it over. But today of all days! What a day to bring that up.

My mum hasn’t been in contact with me for a while. Did I mention she moved house and didn’t even tell me? I only found out via passing conversation with her boyfriend’s mum. We were just generally chatting (I see her at work quite a bit) and she said “… your mum sounds happy in her new house… ” …. wow, wow, woooow… hang on, she’s moved?? I’d have thought she’d have told me. So I contacted her and she said she has moved and gave me her address.

Callum and I are still going strong (and yes, I put him in family life because he is a part of my family!). We went to London last weekend to see some friends and we had a great time. We’ve been together almost 1 and half years now.

Work life

Errrrrrrrm…. well, my contract should have been up 8th August but I’m still working full time as the decision about the job share hasn’t come through yet from the ‘top bosses’ and I’m just taking it week by week now. The girl I’m covering for should have returned on the 11th but she doesn’t want to work full time so she’s been taking leave. It’s week by week. I should hear back next week (well, I should have head back last week…). My boss can’t do anymore, it’s the continuation of the waiting game! It doesn’t look good though, from what my boss has said about the council and fact that the girl I’m covering isn’t willing to cover me if I’m off on the sick or on leave… the council may well not accept the application for a job share, as it’s not 50-50. I hate being left haning like this, it’s really unfair.

Red Cross

Well I did a few shifts at the Eisteddfod last week and it went well… my fave was covering the concert in the Pavillion, it was a music concert and I met Cerys Matthews However, by the time Monday got here I was totally exhausted. The last week really caught up with me.

Well today went smoother than yesterday. Although, instead of doing toast I had porridge and it blew up in the microwave. Oh yum! It tasted like paste and considered giving it to the decorators who were in work doing up a flat. The only way I tolerated it was by putting banana in it, could imagine it sticking to my stomach lining.

Anyhoo, todays events! Well, had a bit of a problem in the morning when bathing a tenant but the real problem arrived just before lunch…

To cut the long story short, one of the tenants had a really nasty fall and had a large cut to her lower leg, happened a few weeks ago. It was stitched up and hasn’t been allowed to walk… until yesterday. Yesterday, we walked with the lady to lunch and she done really, really well. Today, however, we were on our way to her flat to walk with her and we see her in the corridor and next thing we know she is down on the floor. We run to her and it was clearly visible she had broken her ankle. Totally. Her foot was facing the other way around, there was blood and she was going into shock. I ran into the office to let the senior know who phoned the ambulance and we helped the lady.

The operator put it down as a low priority and when the ambulance crew got there the woman mouthed to us “oh my god” as they weren’t expecting that. By this stage the lady was in so much pain she was given morphine and oxygen and they said the operator should have put it as a high priority as the lady was in a right state.

Anyhoo, she was taken to hospital and it is very unlikely she’ll return. We’re wondering if she had her ankle X-rayed when she fell last time… maybe she had muscle weakness.. maybe she cracked the bone. Dunno. It just makes me feel really, really sad at the thought of never seeing this woman again. She has trouble walking as it is, now this is going to knock her right back and will probably end up in a nursing home due to inability to mobilise. We just need to wait and see. This lady always makes me laugh and smile whenever I see her.

Lunch was madness. We were two staff down but we worked really well as a team and still finished lunch at normal time. Staff meeting tomorrow - oh joy!! Oh - and about my job - there’s a chance the lady CAN’T return in August afterall… it’s just going on and on and on, isn’t it?

Oh gawd. Today has been one of those days.

I was up early this morning and thought I had plenty of time before starting work but I still ended up rushing and leaving the house a tad late. I drive to ASDA to draw some money from the cash machine and I literally fell out of the car and stumbled onto my butt. Not many people about thankfully as it was early in the morning but there were some kids walking to school and the only thing really injured was my pride. So I get the money and drive to work.

I go into the staff room and put my bread in the toaster and make the coffees. I spill my coffee all over the floor then turn around to see the staff room full of smoke and the corridor too. I run into the corridor to open the windows and as I do I see my senior and I said, “oh Jackie, today really isn’t my day” and she says, “what’s wrong, darl’?” then she realised and ran to open some more doors but the fire alarms still went off…

The boss was there too and I explained my day to them and as I did my colleague walks in and I said, “Oh, you don’t want to work with me today!!” then they all fell about laughing. Mainly about the mental image of me falling in ASDA carpark.

I have spent the entire day catching up with myself… I thought it was the 13th then asked if it was Friday (jokingly) as it sure as heck felt like it. Gawd. Tuesday tomorrow. Please say it’ll go more smoothly…

Hmm right well my head is all over the place today. I have things to do, places to go, in the next few months and my head is spinning with it all. There’s a wedding, my dads birthday, callum’s birthday, the FC meetup, my mums birthday and my ‘grandads’ birthday, it’s also a good friends birthday next week. It would have been my step-mums birthday in August too. Work remains up in the air, I haven’t found the lead for my camera (which is stressing me out) so looks like I’ll have to buy a new one. I can’t find the lead for my MP3 player either.

Am also contemplating whether to buy an external hard drive (for my photographs) or a new printer (have been umming and arring over getting a new printer for a while). Also need to buy a few things for the house.

I need to phone up about my mobile phone and I need to get around to sorting out my modem because the connection is so poor I really cannot take it anymore.

I need to work on a few things for FriendsCircle and I’m getting my photography site up and going again.

Rightio I’m due in work in two hours time doing overtime. It’s Sunday, double pay. Looks like I’ll be working with a girl I haven’t worked with before, she seems nice though. Which is good. Bye for now!!

Ok well it’s all back in the air again! Yesterday I met the woman I’m covering maternity for. People have said she’s off the wall and they’re not far wrong - I only spent 5 minutes with her and I couldn’t keep up. Totally crazy. She is coming back in August but would like to cut down her hours and only work the morning shifts, and the boss asked if I’d like to jobshare and work the afternoon shifts - that would mean working 2 days one week then 3 days the next week, any other shifts that come up I can cover too and I said I’d like that, it would also mean I’d be permanent and not temporary. The boss said she’d try and arrange that and when I told my colleagues they were super happy.

Anyhoo today she pulls me into the office and she said she’s contacted the council and they were dead set against the jobshare. If it goes ahead it’ll only go ahead for 6 months, then the other girl will have to go back to her normal hours (mornings AND afternoons) and I’d go to casual, or she’ll have to leave and I’d have to APPLY to cover the morning shifts. Even though it is currently one position, if the jobshare goes ahead then they’ll split the position. It’ll also mean I’ll remain temporary for them 6 months and when we change over to the new housing scheme (which is meant to happen early ‘09) the council may not carry me over - which is why my boss is trying to push me to permanent.

To be fair my boss is trying her hardest to keep me in the job. Just the waiting game.. again!

A friend offered to talk to the nursing agency he is a part of to ask about jobs etc but I really like my job, the people I work with and the tenants. Everything about it and I would be thrilled to stay there.

I’ve been eating quite a bit recently and I think it may be comfort eating because I haven’t felt all that great. Tenants at work have been a little… mean… about my figure and really, sometimes it feels like the older they get the younger they act. One of the tenants asked if I was pregnant the other day. Another asked what medication I am on as I have put on a lot of weight. Then on Friday I was walking past a few tenants and they say, to each other, as I am walking directly past them and they know I can hear, “gosh hasn’t she put on a lot of weight?” then they were talking about how fat I am.

Lovely, isn’t it? Gives you a real confidence boost!

Maybe they are justified in commenting, it’s not very nice - but it’s the truth. I weighed myself the other day and I have put on 7lbs. Not a horrific amount but still - I have put on some weight. You’d have thought with the amount of walking we gotta do at work I’d be falling down a drain. Someday I’m going to wear one of these things that monitor how many steps you walk.