Autumn is here (and I hate my keyboard)

Okidokes before I start I just need to say something. For some wierd reason, the ‘m’ on my laptop keyboard isn’t working, so whenever I want to type a word with ‘m’ in it I need to copy/paste it. So frustrating haha So if I’ve typed a word that looks incorrect then I’ve probably missed a ‘m’ (either that or I just suck at typing today!!)

So yeah Autumn is here, I do like this season a lot. The leaves falling from the trees, the park full of reds, oranges, browns, the sun shining on the fresh, cold mornings. Ok I draw the line there because I HATE the cold, but as long as the sun is out – I can tolerate it. I actually wore my scarf yesterday for the first time this year. A fly keeps circulating my coffee. STAY AWAY OR YOU WILL GET IT. I likes my coffee.

That reminds me – I was in the kitchen earlier and I heard Toby’s paws hitting the tiled floor and I thought he was playing with his ball or something (or a pen, bottle, whatever else – he’s like a baby he’ll put anything in his mouth!!), so I turn around and he’s just staring at the floor. On closer inspection I see a dead spider laying at his feet and the next thing he did was engulf it!! The little carnivore!!! However I’m so proud of my little boy for protecting his mama. haha I absolutely HATE spiders.

Some people laugh at me when I say I hate spiders, and to the extent. I freak out at the smallest size and if I see any in my room then that’s that – I won’t settle in there. At the start of college in September my biology lecturer said after Christmas we’ll be disecting insects including spiders and I said there’s NO WAY I’d be able to catch a spider, and slice it. Even if it’s dead I still won’t be able to touch it, who’s to KNOW they’re dead? Haha. Like all phobias, it is irrational. I know. I can’t help it though. I really can’t.

(Too many ‘m’s in this entry!!!)

Tags: life

Toby Pics

Here’s some photos of Toby as promised – Had work to get him to keep still! In the end had to bribe with treats.

Work and Red Cross

I don’t like not being in work. I know I talk about it a lot lately to people and I’m sorry if I’m annoying but it’s true. I absolutely hate it and I’m trying my hardest to find another job I just really hope I get one soon. I applied for 4 jobs last night and another 3 today. I’ve signed up on 3 recruitment agencies and uploaded my CV onto a few sites. I applied for another NHS position – the last one I applied for, the day after I got an e-mail saying I wasn’t “short listed” which was disheartening. I applied for another one and this morning I got another e-mail… I was praying it wasn’t going to be another rejection e-mail and thankfully it wasn’t, it just said they’ll get back to me in due course so that’s something to cling on to.

Remember me talking about the interview I went to? Well I checked the local newspaper the other day and they’re still asking for people! I really think I messed that up with the hours I offered. I dunno I am trying, and I’ll keep trying. I phoned up Careers Wales asking if they could help and they just referred me to their website and told me to check out the vacancies. I’m going to see my tutor in college next week and ask if the college can help in any way. I really would take anything at the moment!

Not sure if I mentioned but a few weeks ago I asked the Job Centre if they could help with employments or benefits until I get a job but as  soon as I mentioned “college” they didn’t want to know. It annoys the hell out of me that there’s people at home with absolutely NOTHING wrong with them, who sit of their arses all day watching TV raking in all the money under the sun, and there’s people like me who go back to college to get a greater education and can’t get bugger all. Where’s the fairness in that?

I haven’t took many photos at all. I have been swamped with college work and to be honest, I’ve sadly lost interest lately. However today I tried to take a few snaps of Toby but he wouldn’t keep still. I will try again later and upload them if they’re decent!

Oh well on Sunday I’m on another Red Cross course, advanced resus and monitoring. I took it last year but would like to do it again this year. I’m thinking of redoing my IHCD (Ambulance Crew, Red Cross) but I’m not sure yet. Last time I turned into an emotional wreck. Seriously. First scenario I was on was a ‘trauma’ and heck, wasn’t I traumatised after it!! I just could not stop crying. So much to do, little time to do it, time critical. I felt like I badly let myself down. I really felt like going home after but thought bugger it, I’ve gone all this way may as well see it through, and my colleagues were trying to make me carry on.  Anyway I failed, nothing major just small little things but to be on the ambulance crew you’ll gotta be way on the ball. I wasn’t the only one who failed, quite a few did, some were truly surprising. I did pass the theory though, which is great. I’m not sure yet though I’ll have a think about it!!

Tags: life, red cross, work

Work and College

Yesterday I went to the library to study and was there for just under 5 hours. I was hoping I would study biology first and then move onto psychology but I just didn’t have the time. My head was fried. Seriously. I kept getting confused over the chemical structure of two molecules and I thought at the end I cracked it. Then as I was walking home I managed to confuse myself again!! A little bit often is the key I think. They say for every hour you have a biology lecture, you should do an hours study in your own time. I’m surprisingly finding Chemistry easier than biology at the moment – it’s the modules. Once I get my head around it I’ll be fine. If I get my head around it!!

I’m starting to worry over these exams in January already, which probably sounds really daft,  but I need good grades. I’m totally putting myself into this course because I want to get to uni and do the course I want to do.

Anyway I’m still trying to find work. I didn’t hear back from a homecare agency I had an interview with, which disheartened me a bit. I have decent qualifications relevant, have been on training courses to do with the job and have had great experience. I’m thinking the hours I put down on the application form worked against my favour. I put down a few hours here, a few hours there (to work around college) but homecare agencies want persistance, so that you can have the same clients the same time, every day. I’ve applied for an auxiliary nursing position at a hospital and I’ve got two more application forms for day centre sorta places. I would happily take anything at the moment!

Tags: college, jobs/careers, thoughts

Soooo….. Update!!

Rightio I know I haven’t been updating much but I will do so from now on! I has a new puppy! Not so new now, though, we’ve had him for about 5 weeks or so. (Surely it’s not that long since I updated?) He is 5 months old.

Here’s a photo of him driving my car. He’s a terrier cross, that’s all the info we were given from the RSPCA. Although when I was in the pet shop last week they said he looks like a jack russel/corgi, it makes sense too. The RSPCA named him Pepe and we changed it to Toby. But after noticing how he LOVES his football I’m thinking we made a mistake in changing it! (Pepe is the name of a footballer, goalkeeper, I think).

When we first got him we wondered how on earth we would cope but he has settled down a lot, thankfully. By watching his body language sometimes though we think he used to get hit by his previous owners, for example when you lift your hand up – not to hit him, I’d never hit him – like when you’re reaching for something he runs off and he absolutely hates dads stick which he uses to walk with. I don’t understand how people can hurt animals, makes me sad just thinking about it. He’s settled down very well now though and is a happy dog, everyone comments on how lovely he is. He can be very stubborn when he wants to though. I guess that’s the jack russell in him.

I’ve started college now, studying Biology, Chemistry, Psychology A Levels. I’m finding the sciences pretty difficult but I’m keeping on top of it. The psychology is going ok, I’ve studied a lot of it already when I did my AS Level in in 3 years ago, but I couldn’t carry it on this year for some reason so had to start the 2 years again.

I used to work fulltime in the sheltered housing complex but then I had to cut back my hours to just 7 a week when I started college. I’ve been looking for flexible work to go around my college hours and it would be a weight off my mind if I get a job.

Jim and I are going well. Seen a lot of him over the summer and it’s been great. We’ve done so much – went camping, climbed a mountain (photos here), been to Liverpool, London, Brecon, went to Go Ape for a friends birthday (will show them pics another time), saw Les miserables in the West End, row a boat (another story for another time! ha) Really enjoyed it. This weekend I’m at Jims, why am I sitting at the laptop writing a loooong blog entry, you ask? It’s because he’s watching his beloved Liverpool playing against West Ham (I think, it says ‘W Ham’, anyway!!) I don’t suppose I mind, as long as I get to watch The X Factor. =D

Tags: life, people, thoughts

Oh My Gawd!

Ok I know I haven’t been around to update my blog but first off I really need to vent.

A while ago I found out that my dads girlfriend worked up a phone bill of roughly £600, he didn’t seem bothered about it because he was convinced she’d end up paying – and she never. Now he’s left it be and the bill has reached £700 with additional charges. On the same day I find out about the increase of this bill I find out that he, himself, worked up a bill of over £800 with a catalogue company and to make things worse – he used my name!! So that’s about £1500 that needs to be paid and now I’m not in full time work how the HECK am I to pay it? Let him pay? Sure, I would – except he gets very little income and the money I recieve goes into the house.

When I cut down hours I was really hoping I’d be able to fall back on his account, and maybe we’d get through until I found another job but there’s no chance of that now. Any money he gets will be going towards these damn debts. Why the hell didn’t he tell me before it got to this stage?? Did he think it would just go away?? He used to ignore phonecalls, I stupidly didn’t think much of it – thought it was hoax callers or silent calls or whatever but now I know why. We’re now getting these phone calls where they hangup before you answer and I checked the number online, and it’s the debt collection service for the company he’s in debt with. Apparently they “harrass” clients who owe money until they pay up – how true that is I don’t know, just found it on the Internet but it would make sense.

Everytime I mention the money he gets into a rage and tells me to stop going on about it. I have the right to be angry. I have the right to be concerned. I have the right to talk and try and settle this because he doesn’t seem to be doing a damn thing about it! It’s my name that’s going to get the stinking red mark next to it if it’s not paid up. It’s going to fall on my head and if they’re not paid the bills will get higher.

I’ve got him now to call the catalogue company tomorrow to try and sort something out. Anything. Just get things going and communicate and come to some sort of arrangement. I can’t believe he would be so daft as to let these two debts slip – what was he thinking?? He knew I was going to cut down hours in work, he’s known for a long time. If I didn’t open that letter one day by mistake I wouldn’t know to this day! Yes, I’m angry. Sorry, needed to vent and tried to contain my language while I was at it.

I’ll update with what’s been going on lately tomorrow. Explain why I’ve cut my hours down and my new start in college.

Making A Difference

I want to make a difference in life. No I’m not practising auditions for Miss World but it’s true – that’s my main goal in life. I like to think there’s a reason to every life and the reason differs for every person and I think mine is to make a difference. Sometimes I get scared and I think about how time flies and I worry that I will end up not doing enough. I think about every aspect of my life and I think I’m doing some things that are worthwhile such as my work, volunteering with the British Red Cross and in my home where I help look after my dad. I think I do make a difference, and people are appreciative of me, to be honest the fact that I know I’ve helped people and continue helping people, and the fact that I have people who love me, they keep me going. Some people think to make a difference you need to do something huge but you don’t. Something you think is small to you may be very much appreciated by someone else and the fact you took the time to do it goes a long way. How can you make a difference? I’ll make a little list.

1) Donate money to charity
Goes to a worthy cause and every penny they get is a penny more to helping their goal.
2) Randomly smile at people and say “good morning” or “hello”
You may be the only friendly face they’ll see that day.
3) Buy a sandwich for someone who is homeless
Could be the only meal they get that day. Afterall, how many people walk past?
4) Phone a friend who could do with talking or cheering up
Hearing your voice and the fact you care.
5) Help someone pack their shopping
Everyone hates it!
6) Volunteer for a Charity
Makes you feel good and everyone else feel good.
7) Stand up for someone
If you think someone is being wrong done by, then say something! Be on their side! Don’t let them take all the stick, maybe if you put your word in it’ll ease the situation.
8 ) Buy someone flowers or a box of chocolates
Everyone likes a surprise, make it anonymous if you want!!
9) Compliment. And mean it!
Often we think things to ourselves but hold ourselves back from saying it because we think we’ll sound daft. But if you’re thinking something nice about someone – say it!!
10) Hug your friends, family, colleagues. Strangers if you want – just hug!!
Makes both you and your “hugged” feel good.
11) Send e-mails or an ecard, a card through the post, or a letter.
Lets them know you’re thinking of them.
12) Pay for the person behind you. Whether it be a toll charge or towards their Mcdonalds.
Kind people do exist!
13) Help an elderly person – whether it be dropping in to ask if they want anything from the shops, helping them with the lawn or even just a bit of company. Especially at times like Christmas when for many, they’re most lonely.
Acts of kindness go a long way, makes the day go a lot smoother.

Remember to Pay it Forward!! I will always remember a film I saw a few years ago named Pay It Forward, about a young boy who was given an assignment to think of something to change the world and put it into action. He wanted to make an impact and he’d help people and when he helped them, he didn’t want anything in return – he wanted them to spread the kindness and carry on helping others. The young boy creates these rules for Pay It Forward:

#1 It has to be something that really helps people.
#2 Something they can’t do by themselves.
#3 I do it for them, they do it for three other people.

Also remember – when you give you also recieve.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

Coming soon? It’s here!

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince was released in UK cinemas yesterday and Jim and I went to see it in Cardiff. I’m not a very big Harry Potter fan, I have watched a few of the films and they were good but I wasn’t overly excited about seeing it yesterday. Hold the tomatoes back, I have to admit I really enjoyed the film and well recommend it!

I was gripped as soon as it started, the opening scene of the Death Eaters tearing through London and blasting the Millennium Bridge into a thousand pieces as everyone screamed and scurried for safety, the imagery was incredible. The directors have made the film go with the times and as “the kids” grow up into teenagers you get the usual teenage romances, crushes and not forgetting the love potions which result into a somewhat bizarre situation.

The film was over 2 and half hours long and I didn’t fall asleep or wish it was over once. The cinema was jam packed and it had doses of comedy as well as the undertone of creepiness throughout the film. The only down statement I can make was that I didn’t feel it gave enough information about Tom Riddle and the Horcrux, but I guess more details and the plot will be explained in the next movie. Keeping us on the edge of our seats!

If you haven’t watched it yet then definitely do so! You don’t need to have watched previous films to get into the plot, you’ll drift into it as the film progresses. I can safely say I am now a fan of Harry Potter and am really looking forward to the next instalment!

Tags: films, harry potter

Widnes

This last weekend I have been in Widnes seeing Jim and had a really good time, didn’t want to come home at all! Our weekend started on Thursday night when Jim came down here on the train to make sure I get to Widnes alright as it is a long journey. I did half of the driving and Jim drove the rest of the way. I decided to pull over when he tugged at my last straw saying “you don’t wanna do that, you should do this!!”, got on my wick so in the end I let him drive. lol I was grateful though as it was nice to chillax (well, the first few miles of Jim driving in my dodgy Corsa was a bit anxious, due to the gears playing up). The weather was horrendous and it just didn’t stop raining as we hit Shrewsbury. We got there safe and sound though and that’s all that matters.

On the Saturday we went to Liverpool and it’s a lovely place. Although the people there talk funny and it was hard to understand what they were saying! We went in a few museums, a few drinks, and went down Albert Dock. On the river they had people trying to walk on the water in these balls. They zip, you sit inside them, then the ball gets pumped full of oxygen and you’re pushed into the water and left to yourself for 10 minutes playing about. Looked like such fun, was a bit expensive though at £5 for 10 minutes but I wanted to go on it. However there was a queue and we thought different of it.

The buildings there are lovely. They have a mixture of old and modern and it looked really good.

In the evening we went for something to eat and went to a Chinese Resturant. On the menu it said £21.50 banquet and we thought we had to select one of each course, and we thought that was the price for both of us, 2 for 1. We sat down and when a waitress came to our table we selected our starter and we went on to say what meals we’d like and she said “all”. We thought it was a language barrier because of her broken English but we didn’t expect what was coming. When I went to bed that night all I could hear in my sleep was the waitress saying, “Ready for next course?” Seriously, we ate soooo much. I think we experienced all Chinese food in one sitting! Course after course, plate after plate. Then half way through Jim put his arm down on the table not realising a chopstick was on the corner and it summersaulted behind him. Thankfully the guy behind was facing the other way or Jim may still be in the cells done for assault and being sued for compensation due to loss of eye sight.

We were stuffed. By the time the dessert came we looked at each other and tried our best to at least attempt. We had melons but there was also a bowl of Sage, it’s basically like rice pudding except the rice is more like frog spawn. So, so slimy. I just could not eat it although Jim loved it. The taste itself was ok I guess just the texture, totally offputting for me!

The bill came and it was £21.50 each, although it was expensive, the food itself was absolutely gorgeous (expect the frog spawn) and was a really enjoyable evening and was with excellent company.

We ended the night playing Wii Fit. Fit!?? Ha! That’s a laugh. My Wii Fit age is 45. 45!!!!! WTF. We played bowling and tennis and went for a job and also some baseball. I so want a Wii Fit now.

On the Sunday I met Jims parents, one of his sisters, an uncle and his niece and nephews and everyone was lovely, just hope they thought the same about me even though I was quiet! I always am when I meet new people, I’m terrible, but after the first meet it’s usually ok. I also met Jims daughter properly for the first time and we all had pizza and played Guitar Hero. Such fun!!

On the Monday I intended to leave at 10am to get back in time for work and chillax a bit before my shift started (3pm). We hadn’t used my car all weekend and when I went to it my jaw dropped when noticed someone had smashed off my side mirror!!! I could not go on the M6 without one of them. So we went to Halfords to get some stick on ones and Jim sorted it out for me, cutting his fingers when trying to get rid of the shattered glass. Awww. The mirror wouldn’t adjust properly because one of the clips came off so I had to bend and look at an awkard angle to see along side and behind me. A combination of the mirror and my gearbox (hit and miss getting 2 and 4) made the drive a bit stressing but I got home by 2:30pm. Had a very quick shower and went to work and reality came crashing back. I miss him so much, 168 miles, but being in head and heart means you’re never too far away.

I have heaps of photos but haven’t uploaded them yet, when I do I’ll upload a few of them here.

Interviews, Appointments and Skin!

I’m so tired, I’m so tired.. haven’t long got back from work, managed to talk to the deputy and she couldn’t really advise me much which is fair enough as no one knows what is happening to this girl who I’m still covering sick leave for. I explained the situation though which is the main thing, about me applying for college for September, hoping to go to uni and looking at other jobs to extend my experience and she was totally understanding. She realises I’m young and she said she was surprised I have hanged on for so long with my position. She said it would be a shame to lose me, as all the staff like me and the tenants do but I have to move on sometime.

I have my interview tomorrow, I think I know where my certificates are and I need to look for something to wear!

I tried making skin tonight for the casualty simulation practice I’m having on Friday. It’s made with stale breadcrumbs and water and make it into a dough, and you can add colouring to adjust the tone to go with the skin. It looks ok but I think I’ll practice more tomorrow. I’ve ordered my blood and it should be here this week, then *HOPEFULLY* I’ll be all ready for next week. I’m helping out promoting the Red Cross and their services by doing wounds on small children in a supermarket car park. I’m a little nervous about it, mainly because it’s children!

I got confirmation about my counselling appointment today, the soonest one she has is the 31st July. I hope I don’t need to wait that long between each appointment!

Tomorrow Jim is coming down and then we’re driving to his for the weekend, I can’t wait. Meeting the family too which is pretty scary but they seem ok and hopefully it’ll go well.

Anyway I had better go now, see yaz!

Tags: health, jobs/careers, life, red cross