Hmm well I haven’t updated for a while.. first of, relating to last post, someone contacted me the other day about the traffic situation on that particular road where drivers should ‘give way’ but they don’t, they said they were going to go down the road and have a look themselves and pass it onto the traffic management team (or something) who will do something about it because I don’t care what anyone says, it IS dangerous.

Speaking of dangerous I can’t remember if I mentioned my dads ex or not… it’s a long story but basically she’s being a right bitch and is trying to make our lives hell. Tonight I was threatened, police called again. Didn’t do much, said they couldn’t do much. If I’m followed or get any trouble at all or see anyone suspicious they told me to call 999.

Still in work… just… review coming up re job share in December, haven’t a clue whats going to happen (which isn’t fair really) but I have told my boss I’ll stay on through Christmas and New Year.

Red Cross.. my name has been put forward to go on a resusication support course on sunday, one step further to being on the ambulances. I remember back last year I was allowed on the 4×4 at a racecourse and it was such fun, I was going speeding over a HUGE bump thank goodness I had a seatbelt on, shame the other red cross dude (who gave me the keys in first place) didn’t. I should have given him a head injury info card. 

Relationship… still with Callie

Pets… Snap, Crackle and Pop still don’t like me… well, Pop and Crackle are ok with me but wont let me hold them properly yet. Snap on the other hand, the white albino, is a bastard because he keeps biting me!! He bites me and I pull my hands away but the little shite is still hanging from my finger. Aw, can’t help but love ‘em though.

Family.. well my mum wants to have another baby so who knows… maybe I’ll have a little brother/sister in future… my dad isn’t too bad, uncle is having relationship problems and has been living in a car, he moved back to England but we’ve told him there’s a spare bed here if he wants to crash for a few nights or something.

So.. there ya are.

Current Mood: Mad

I am sick to death of the current state of our NHS. Since when did it become acceptable to let a person who may have cancer (who had it in the past) to wait a ridiculous amount of time to get an important scan done? Since when did it become acceptable for someone to be told to go to get their scan results on a certain date, turn up to be told the results aren’t in and to come back next week? Since when did it become acceptable to have to wait for another scan to find out what strain of cancer they have? Since when did it become acceptable for someone to wait so ridiculously long, I’m talking months now to find out what strain of cancer she has and she still hasn’t started the treatment?? In this time her cancer has spread to two other parts of her body and the waiting is bloody stupid and it makes me soooo angry. It really does. You know you have cancer but nothing is being done (other than being prescribed painkillers) and in the meantime your health is getting worse.

Then there’s this spreading of MRSA and C-difficile, what happened to being saved by the NHS? You should go into hospital to get better, it seems like more often than not you end up getting worse before getting better, sometimes, not even getting better!!

Then there’s the problem about the response time from ambulances to patients who call 999.  Maybe that’s because our trained paramedics are too busy wasting time having to sit with patients inside the A&E department until they are ‘passed on’ to hospital staff. So while a paramedic is standing next to a patient (who probably isn’t life threateningly ill and probably is one of the time wasters who call 999 basically wanting a bed for the night) someone, somewhere is having a heart attack, stroke or has difficulty breathing/stopped breathing and it means they need to wait longer than they need to for an ambulance. Thank goodness for the first responders, but it shouldn’t be this way.

Our NHS is so messed up, I think many people would rather sit and suffer at home rather than endure the treatment you get (or won’t get, as the case sometimes is). I understand they are stretched for staff, I understand no one is perfect etc but we rely on this service for our health, our money goes into this service and what’s to show for it?

It makes me sick.

Current Mood: Tired

*sighs*

My brain is in such a frazzle I can’t even think about how to get my future started. Knowing me it won’t work out anyway, or I end up causing more pain and suffering in the ambulance service than actually helping. My biggest fear is if I ever get to that stage, a patient of mine dying on my first shift. Whether it be a fault of mine or due to their significant health problems, I just really don’t want that to happen but I guess it would be a reality check. No doubt there will be plenty of times where a patient is critically ill on arrival to hospital.

I am genuinely caring and I find the human body facinating, I also love driving and it would be an exciting and rewarding job. I’ve thought about nursing but I wouldn’t like to work in a hospital all the time. I’ve thought about medicine and becoming a doctor but it’s a very long route and I certainly don’t have the brains for that.

Oh, I don’t know. Whatever happens, happens.

That’s the latest episode of Gerbil Life over and done with… now it’s time for my life…

Well… I’ll tell you one thing that’s on my mind a lot, first. My job!! *sighs* I am on a 3 month job share and it started earlier this month. The other day I got my payslip and OMG I had such a shock, I’m getting a lot less than I thought I would be… my basic pay is something stupid and all the overtime I did last month I don’t get until next month. Due to direct debits I have a good few hundred going out of my account each month, a day after I get paid, now I’m left with very little of it. I have been thinking a lot about it and am considering going for another job. The one I’m in now, sure I enjoy it and I love my colleagues, but it’s dead-end. The pay isn’t all that grand either, to be honest.

My dad has been talking a lot about his girlfriend and I’m pretty much tired of it. I haven’t said, I keep my mouth zipped but she’s all he talks about, he’s worse than a love struck teenager. Hehe It’s nice and all that that they love each other like they do but gee…

I tidied my room too! Shock, horror. The thing is, it’s nice when it’s done but how long does it last?? We have a decent sized house but have so much stuff here, many of which we don’t use. Dad and I were talking about holding a bootsale yesterday and it’s a good idea. He said he’ll talk to his girlfriend about it, because she goes to a lot of bootsales.

Anyway I’m doing washing at the moment… when my step-mum died a few years ago I had to learn everything from scratch. How to do washing, cooking etc… because her good nature meant she wouldn’t let us. I have been using tablets in the washing but today I put washing powder in the machine and I’m getting visions now of the whole kitchen floor being flooded with soap. I washed it once this morning, but I guess another wash wouldn’t do it any harm…

I bought 3 gerbils this morning and went to buy the cage but they didn’t have the right one in stock so I was sent to another store in Cwmbran. Note to self - never drive to Cwmbran again!

It has a huge shopping complex consisting of 200 shops and it spans out quite a large area. Car spaces shouldn’t be a problem with 4,000 of them available but it’s always jam packed, even today, a Sunday. I parked the car and tried to find the pet store but couldn’t. In the process got lost and couldn’t find my ca. Finally found the car and found the pet store then struggled to take the cage, food plus bedding etc back to my car and my left arm was *really* hurting afterwards, still feels weird.

Anyway, long story short - I have three gerbils. Male gerbils. So cute!! Now it’s a matter of names…

• Dot, Spot and Scott (slip of the tongue could very well happen here…)
• Peanut, Butter and Jelly
• Thunder, Lightning and Bolt
• Fish, Chips and Peas
• Sun, Sky and Star
• Snap, Crackle and Pop

Hmm.

I know I said I’d post an update last night but I really didn’t feel like it, but I’ll write up a quick one now…

Family Life

Well I don’t know where to start, really. It would be my step-mums birthday today and I’m finding that alone hard to deal with. We were going to go to the cemetery today but we didn’t because the weather has been so appauling her grave is right up the top of the cemetery and my dad won’t be able to get there, so we’re hoping to go tomorrow. I come from from town this morning to see my dad with his head in his arms and his voice ‘hidden’ like he was going to cry. I asked him what was wrong, thinking it was to do with my stepmum’s birthday, but he said his ‘lady friend’ has asked him to marry him.

Oh yes, his lady friend. He told me not so long ago he is seeing someone else, and has been seeing her for 3 months, but neglected to tell me in worry of how I’d react. She is in her thirties and she is a nice girl but it did come as a shock and I am finding it hard to adjust to, not that I’m telling my dad that. I’ve given dad the impression I am perfectly fine with his relationship with her, but on the inside, I’m not as comfortable as I make out to be. It’s not so much the age difference, it’s the whole new relationship thing, I don’t know, maybe I sound selfish or something. Anyway to hear my dad say she wants to get married… it came as a shock. My dad hasn’t said yes or no, he said he’ll think it over. But today of all days! What a day to bring that up.

My mum hasn’t been in contact with me for a while. Did I mention she moved house and didn’t even tell me? I only found out via passing conversation with her boyfriend’s mum. We were just generally chatting (I see her at work quite a bit) and she said “… your mum sounds happy in her new house… ” …. wow, wow, woooow… hang on, she’s moved?? I’d have thought she’d have told me. So I contacted her and she said she has moved and gave me her address.

Callum and I are still going strong (and yes, I put him in family life because he is a part of my family!). We went to London last weekend to see some friends and we had a great time. We’ve been together almost 1 and half years now.

Work life

Errrrrrrrm…. well, my contract should have been up 8th August but I’m still working full time as the decision about the job share hasn’t come through yet from the ‘top bosses’ and I’m just taking it week by week now. The girl I’m covering for should have returned on the 11th but she doesn’t want to work full time so she’s been taking leave. It’s week by week. I should hear back next week (well, I should have head back last week…). My boss can’t do anymore, it’s the continuation of the waiting game! It doesn’t look good though, from what my boss has said about the council and fact that the girl I’m covering isn’t willing to cover me if I’m off on the sick or on leave… the council may well not accept the application for a job share, as it’s not 50-50. I hate being left haning like this, it’s really unfair.

Red Cross

Well I did a few shifts at the Eisteddfod last week and it went well… my fave was covering the concert in the Pavillion, it was a music concert and I met Cerys Matthews However, by the time Monday got here I was totally exhausted. The last week really caught up with me.

Ok well thinking about it, maybe it was totally ridiculous of me to put my name down to provide cover tomorrow and thursday. I will need to get up early tomorrow and looks like I’ll need to drive to a fellow volunteers house in Cardiff, leave my car there and we all jump into the ambulance and we go there in that one vehicle. I’m providing cover from 8am - 2pm then I’ve got work from 3pm - 10pm. Then, on Thursday, I’m working 8am - 3pm, then providing cover from 6pm - 11.30pm. It’s just, I really enjoy being with the Red Cross and this is a major event and being Welsh, also, I’d love to be a part of it somehow.

Anyway, I’ve just got back from ASDA, and now I’m watching House M.D. It’s pretty sad, isn’t it? I mean, I only need to watch the first 3 minutes of an episode to see who the characters are and the main ‘patient’ and I know what the storyline is and how it ends, because I’ve watched it so many times. I just love it.

Hmm right well my head is all over the place today. I have things to do, places to go, in the next few months and my head is spinning with it all. There’s a wedding, my dads birthday, callum’s birthday, the FC meetup, my mums birthday and my ‘grandads’ birthday, it’s also a good friends birthday next week. It would have been my step-mums birthday in August too. Work remains up in the air, I haven’t found the lead for my camera (which is stressing me out) so looks like I’ll have to buy a new one. I can’t find the lead for my MP3 player either.

Am also contemplating whether to buy an external hard drive (for my photographs) or a new printer (have been umming and arring over getting a new printer for a while). Also need to buy a few things for the house.

I need to phone up about my mobile phone and I need to get around to sorting out my modem because the connection is so poor I really cannot take it anymore.

I need to work on a few things for FriendsCircle and I’m getting my photography site up and going again.

Rightio I’m due in work in two hours time doing overtime. It’s Sunday, double pay. Looks like I’ll be working with a girl I haven’t worked with before, she seems nice though. Which is good. Bye for now!!

Ok there’s a problem and it had better be sorted before it turns into an international crisis - THERE ARE NO KIWIS LEFT IN THIS HOUSE!!

*Panic*Panic*Panic*
I have eaten 7 in the past two days - I left one in the fridge in work on Friday so hopefully it’ll still be there tomorrow but I think I’ll need to go to ASDA tomorrow to stock up. I was talking to someone and they said they have never tasted a kiwi fruit before and I was like, “what??”. I guess they’re a bit like a sweet grape and I started eating them when my step-mum bought them a good few years ago - they were my step-mums favourite fruit, too. As long as there’s bananas and kiwi fruits and chocolate in the house then I’m ok foodwise. Oh, and cans of ravioli. And potatoes! Yep.

Today is Sunday. Boring Sunday.

I’ve been pretty busy today finding a new theme for my blog and came across this awesome layout. I liked the previous one but wanted something different, time for a change and I like this one muchly. *nods* I’m gonna work on my blog quite a bit as I have some plans for it.

I was thinking about my photography site, esteedphotography, and I’m thinking about removing the gallery and replacing it with a photoblog, a wordpress but photo themed. I think it would be a lot easier to update and maintain and I’m also pretty used to wordpress. Will think it over.

I went to the park earlier today and took quite a few snaps. I’m trying to find my camera lead but isn’t that just typical - it’s nowhere to be seen! I have two cameras - a Kodak one which is pretty small and ‘portable’, the other one is a Fujifilm and it’s a bit chunky and not so easy to carry around, and this is my ‘main’ camera. The lead has to be here somewhere. Now, where was the last place I put it??