As many of you are already aware by now am sure I have the ambition to be a paramedic. Being in the Red Cross and going out on duties I have mixed with quite a number of paramedics and watch the work they do and I have nothing but admiration for them. I’m also a keen reader of an online blog written by a paramedic (The Paramedic’s Diary) where he documents the callouts he has (edited for confidentiality, of course) and his thoughts and feelings on the job and the people he comes across.

Stuart Gray has published a few books in his time of being a paramedic, and he recently posted a link to this one in his blog. ‘The Street Medic’s Survival Guide’ and it looks superb. Definitely on my wishlist for Christmas! Here’s a description from SP Services:

The Street Medic’s Survival Guide has been written by an experienced frontline paramedic to fill a void that exists for everyone embarking on the journey into the profession. Even if you are just thinking about becoming a paramedic, this book will take you through the realities of the job – the stuff they don’t tell you in training school or university.

Written with humour and common sense by the author of ‘A Paramedic’s Diary – Life and Death on the Streets’, the book will open your eyes before you embark on the long, arduous training programme that is standard for paramedics-to-be. Everything you need to know about ‘out there’ is in here, including:

• The recruitment and training process
• Salary and work conditions
• How to use the radio properly without making a fool of yourself
• How to wear uniform properly, including how to iron it!
• Call types and how to handle stress

With illustrations and real-life examples throughout, this book is destined to become the ‘how to’ bible of paramedicine.

Woohoo!!!

I’m starting to worry over these exams in January already, which probably sounds really daft,  but I need good grades. I’m totally putting myself into this course because I want to get to uni and do the course I want to do.

Anyway I’m still trying to find work. I didn’t hear back from a homecare agency I had an interview with, which disheartened me a bit. I have decent qualifications relevant, have been on training courses to do with the job and have had great experience. I’m thinking the hours I put down on the application form worked against my favour. I put down a few hours here, a few hours there (to work around college) but homecare agencies want persistance, so that you can have the same clients the same time, every day. I’ve applied for an auxiliary nursing position at a hospital and I’ve got two more application forms for day centre sorta places. I would happily take anything at the moment!

Here’s a photo of him driving my car. He’s a terrier cross, that’s all the info we were given from the RSPCA. Although when I was in the pet shop last week they said he looks like a jack russel/corgi, it makes sense too. The RSPCA named him Pepe and we changed it to Toby. But after noticing how he LOVES his football I’m thinking we made a mistake in changing it! (Pepe is the name of a footballer, goalkeeper, I think).

When we first got him we wondered how on earth we would cope but he has settled down a lot, thankfully. By watching his body language sometimes though we think he used to get hit by his previous owners, for example when you lift your hand up – not to hit him, I’d never hit him – like when you’re reaching for something he runs off and he absolutely hates dads stick which he uses to walk with. I don’t understand how people can hurt animals, makes me sad just thinking about it. He’s settled down very well now though and is a happy dog, everyone comments on how lovely he is. He can be very stubborn when he wants to though. I guess that’s the jack russell in him.

I’ve started college now, studying Biology, Chemistry, Psychology A Levels. I’m finding the sciences pretty difficult but I’m keeping on top of it. The psychology is going ok, I’ve studied a lot of it already when I did my AS Level in in 3 years ago, but I couldn’t carry it on this year for some reason so had to start the 2 years again.

I used to work fulltime in the sheltered housing complex but then I had to cut back my hours to just 7 a week when I started college. I’ve been looking for flexible work to go around my college hours and it would be a weight off my mind if I get a job.

Jim and I are going well. Seen a lot of him over the summer and it’s been great. We’ve done so much – went camping, climbed a mountain (photos here), been to Liverpool, London, Brecon, went to Go Ape for a friends birthday (will show them pics another time), saw Les miserables in the West End, row a boat (another story for another time! ha) Really enjoyed it. This weekend I’m at Jims, why am I sitting at the laptop writing a loooong blog entry, you ask? It’s because he’s watching his beloved Liverpool playing against West Ham (I think, it says ‘W Ham’, anyway!!) I don’t suppose I mind, as long as I get to watch The X Factor. =D

I have my interview tomorrow, I think I know where my certificates are and I need to look for something to wear!

I tried making skin tonight for the casualty simulation practice I’m having on Friday. It’s made with stale breadcrumbs and water and make it into a dough, and you can add colouring to adjust the tone to go with the skin. It looks ok but I think I’ll practice more tomorrow. I’ve ordered my blood and it should be here this week, then *HOPEFULLY* I’ll be all ready for next week. I’m helping out promoting the Red Cross and their services by doing wounds on small children in a supermarket car park. I’m a little nervous about it, mainly because it’s children!

I got confirmation about my counselling appointment today, the soonest one she has is the 31st July. I hope I don’t need to wait that long between each appointment!

Tomorrow Jim is coming down and then we’re driving to his for the weekend, I can’t wait. Meeting the family too which is pretty scary but they seem ok and hopefully it’ll go well.

Anyway I had better go now, see yaz!

Work today was nonstop busy. Started with handover which took an hour because the person giving it just couldn’t stop gassing, then started our rounds which took 3 hours then we had three tenants who were unwell, one with heart problems, other severe constipation and another one who had really bad nose bleeds. I spent a lot of time with the one who had nose bleeds and it was due to her not taking her BP medication, although she wouldn’t admit to it. Oh no, would she heck. I spent a good amount of time in her flat yesterday trying to explain and the evidence she wasn’t taking her medication properly were right there infront of her. Tonight after spending time in her flat trying to explain and comfort her I think I needed the BP medication to lower mine! Haha

My arm has been hurting like CRAZY the past few days. It’s hurting right now. Last night I tried putting a support bandage around it and it seemed to help a little but not much, I just couldn’t settle down last night at all and was up about 4am mastering Suduku!! I actually finished a puzzle too YAY!!!

Was talking to my Red Cross manager and they’ve managed to find me a makeup kit for the casualty simulation and I’m todging over that. Can’t wait to play with it. I was asked to go for an exhibition for first aid to do makeup and casualty stuff but it’s the weekend I’m going to Widnes to spend time with my lovely boyfriend and have a BBQ etc if weather is right, been planned for a while now.

Anyway my mum is visiting at the moment and she’s eating Mint Imperials. Driving me absolutely crazy. Eat quietly. Stop crunching. Suck the sweet until it’s tiny then swallow it, ok? Please? As if.

2009 has got off to such a crap start, my head feels overwhelmed with everything and I can’t think straight. I don’t know what I’m doing, where I’m going, what to do next or anything. Was hoping to make this year productive but now… I feel so unmotivated, it’s hard. Really hard. Got my payslip today too and was expecting a decent one as I’ve worked all through Christmas, full time, including triple pay for Christmas/New Year but what I got paid was absolutely appauling. The worst payslip I have had since I’ve been there.

When are things going to go right? Seriously. NOTHING has gone right.

Yes, I’m in one of them moods. Ignore me.

Wow, what a day… work as stressful and I didn’t stop. Started almost as soon as I started work when I walked in a flat to see a tenant on the floor, not moving or talking. I was concerned but felt a sense of relief when I heard moans and groans and incoherant sounds coming from here. She said she felt sick and was vomiting on the carpet so I asked her if she fell, did she hurt herself/in any pain, did she bang her head and she said no, she just fell. My senior arrived and we had to call in my colleague to help out so there were three of us with her. It was a difficult task getting her up off the floor (she was laying in the most uncomfortable of positions) and onto a bed, we did use an inflatable cushion but she concerned me a lot, looks like she had a possible stroke.

Another tenant is dying, in complete heart failure and there is absolutely nothing we can do for her, and it has upset the staff as well as her fellow nieghbours who know about it (her friends). She is a lovely, lovely lady who has a wonderfully supportive family (unfortunately, it’s not the case with a lot of the others…), she is so weak, this lady knows she is dying, the way she talks and I honestly think people do know when it is ‘their time’. Today my boss spoke to her at length and she will not go into hospital, to be honest I can understand her. This lady knows everyone and they think of us, the staff, as good friends, family, people they know. No one wants to die in hospital on their own and possibily down to one of the numerous infections floating about on the wards… It just makes me so sad, I really, really hope she makes it through to the new year, I think that is what this lady is fighting for.
You feel useless but I think in times like this they just appreciate the company and care, my job is rewarding but at the same time you just cannot help but get attached to the tenants and you do think of them as friends so at times it can be depressing.

There’s quite a few tenants who are ill, between going back and forth to their flats and serving up the Boxing Day 3 course lunch it has been busy… my colleague asked if I wanted to go out tonight but I was so tired I said I’d rather stay in and do nothing. Ha, right. As soon as I got home I was back out at Tescos shopping (food shopping, not ‘January Sales’, they can kiss my ass). Then I cleaned up the living room. Then I cleaned the gerbil cage, and cooked the dinner, set up the new DVD player. Now I’m drinking a glass of wine.

Providing first aid cover tomorrow at the Welsh National, you may see me on the TV

Speaking of dangerous I can’t remember if I mentioned my dads ex or not… it’s a long story but basically she’s being a right bitch and is trying to make our lives hell. Tonight I was threatened, police called again. Didn’t do much, said they couldn’t do much. If I’m followed or get any trouble at all or see anyone suspicious they told me to call 999.

Still in work… just… review coming up re job share in December, haven’t a clue whats going to happen (which isn’t fair really) but I have told my boss I’ll stay on through Christmas and New Year.

Red Cross.. my name has been put forward to go on a resusication support course on sunday, one step further to being on the ambulances. I remember back last year I was allowed on the 4×4 at a racecourse and it was such fun, I was going speeding over a HUGE bump thank goodness I had a seatbelt on, shame the other red cross dude (who gave me the keys in first place) didn’t. I should have given him a head injury info card. 

Relationship… still with Callie

Pets… Snap, Crackle and Pop still don’t like me… well, Pop and Crackle are ok with me but wont let me hold them properly yet. Snap on the other hand, the white albino, is a bastard because he keeps biting me!! He bites me and I pull my hands away but the little shite is still hanging from my finger. Aw, can’t help but love ‘em though.

Family.. well my mum wants to have another baby so who knows… maybe I’ll have a little brother/sister in future… my dad isn’t too bad, uncle is having relationship problems and has been living in a car, he moved back to England but we’ve told him there’s a spare bed here if he wants to crash for a few nights or something.

So.. there ya are.

I had a one-to-one meeting with my boss towards the end of last week, a personal development plan, basically talking about how your year has been and plans for next year etc… it was like a school report but reading between the lines I got an A* and need to ask my dad for more pocket money. :-p

I say that, but last night I was called into the managers office and was asked to bring my P45 with me… I was up in the communal lounge looking through the photos from all the years and found some of my deputy sporting all sorts of different hairstyles and fashion, dare I say, disasters. :-p I sent the photos down the office and my colleague tells me I have been called into her office, so I go downstairs and ask her if she’d like my locker key as well and we all started laughing.

I almost did something awful last night, there’s one tenant who’s a double amputee – has no legs – I walk into her flat and she’s smoking. Sometimes when I see people smoking I make small comments and last night I was about to say to her, “you shouldn’t smoke, it’ll stump your growth” but thankfully I stopped myself, my brain got into gear just in time! Although, knowing that tenant, she’d have laughed at the comment, but still, how embarrassing would it have been if I said that? Would have wanted the ground to swallow me. v_v

*sighs*

My brain is in such a frazzle I can’t even think about how to get my future started. Knowing me it won’t work out anyway, or I end up causing more pain and suffering in the ambulance service than actually helping. My biggest fear is if I ever get to that stage, a patient of mine dying on my first shift. Whether it be a fault of mine or due to their significant health problems, I just really don’t want that to happen but I guess it would be a reality check. No doubt there will be plenty of times where a patient is critically ill on arrival to hospital.

I am genuinely caring and I find the human body facinating, I also love driving and it would be an exciting and rewarding job. I’ve thought about nursing but I wouldn’t like to work in a hospital all the time. I’ve thought about medicine and becoming a doctor but it’s a very long route and I certainly don’t have the brains for that.

Oh, I don’t know. Whatever happens, happens.