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Posted by flummoxed1 on Jan 18, 2010 in life
Down in the dumps today… shit start to a shit day. Pfft!!! I have roughly 12 hours until bed time? Are you serious?
Snow, snow, go away. Don’t come back EVER again!!
Sighs. I am so sick of this snow. 
It had been snowing since 4pm yesterday, all through the night and it’s still snowing today and we have at least 6 inches here. Such a bloody nightmare. It really couldn’t have come at a worst time, I’ve got exams this week and college was shut all last week so I missed out on important study classes and opportunity to ask my lecturer questions and clear some things out in my head.
I have been panicking like mad over my Chemistry exam tomorrow. Yesterday I saw my chemistry lecturer in college, after my biology exam and he said he’s holding a study class this morning, regardless of the weather. I turn up at 9am this morning, no sign of him. So then I brave the elements and go to town and thankfully, the library was open so I’ve been studying Chemistry the past 4 hours. Head is spinning. I feel a little bit better about tomorrow – but there’s still some areas I’m unclear about which could comprise my grade.
I’ve been hoping and praying I won’t need to work later. Not only is the weather too dangerous to drive in but I need time to study. Thankfully my prayers were answered and I got a phone call off my manager to say not to do my calls later as they have hired out a 4×4 and a selected few will be going out in it doing the rounds and visiting clients. They asked me if I would mind visiting a few clients locally this evening and I said I didn’t mind, which I don’t, they only live a few streets away. I’m glad I have more time to study.
Biology exam yesterday, I was fairly confident because I’ve been studying a lot these past few days – I’m always at my best when I revise a few days beforehand, some can’t do that as it makes them mega confused etc but it says in my head a lot better. Anyway I go into the exam and I didn’t like it one little bit! They were really picky at small areas of the syllubus, areas you skim over and you move onto the larger topics. Very little on DNA, proteins and cells. Nothing on food tests whatsoever! Disappointed. I tried my best just need to wait now. I saw my biology lecturer in the corridor after the exam and he offered to go though the paper – I’d rather not know!!
I’ve got my Chemistry exam on Thursday (tomorrow), and meant to have a Chemistry lesson on Friday. However I’ve already informed work I’m available if they need me because in Chemistry I’m sure they’ll just go over the paper – and I’d really rather not.
Snow, and more snow…
Posted by flummoxed1 on Jan 11, 2010 in life
Hey guys! Although it may have seemed like it, I have not fell of the face of the Earth. 
I have been uber busy lately with one thing or another, between work and college the hours just seem to go by lately.
Well now it’s the end of the Noughties and the start of the… Tenss? Teenies? OK I know Teens refer to 13+ but perhaps 2010 – 2012 could be called the Tweenies, you know, the preadolescence stage. I dunno either way it’s a new year, in a new decade! Unfortunately I was working all through Christmas and New Year and on New Years Day I was working for 7am. I had to write the date and didn’t I get into a muddle!?? 01/01/10, 01/10/01, 10/01/01, 01/01/10. HALLELUJAH!!! I know I got it right first, but it looked so wrong I had to re-write it 4 times to make it register.
Even though I was on the rota to work I had a fabulous New Year, I can easily say it was the best one I have ever had thanks to Jim. He came down a few days after Christmas and stayed until the 8th January. He was going to go home a few days earlier but we had really heavy snow so he stayed (Thank you Heavens!! 
) We had a lovely time and each time we see each other the more we get on and the harder it is to say goodbye. The distance is a pain but the feelings I have for him are so strong and I really do want to be with him all the time, and I’m sure the feeling is mutual.
I have exams coming up this week. It has been tough and go because Wales, and indeed, the whole country, has been hit with heavy snow. The roads here are a lot better now thankfully, except the side roads, the paths and pavements are still icy though. The college had been shut all last week and I was absolutely GUTTED because I was relying on that week for revision lessons, the snow really couldn’t have been worse timing. I used to love the snow as a kid, but now as I do a lot of driving I absolutely HATE THE STUFF!!!
Oh well I had better go and study some more. See yaz.
Oh my word… what an afternoon!!!
Posted by flummoxed1 on Nov 25, 2009 in life
Well I was in college this afternoon and took my uniform so I could get changed in the toilets and go straight to work. I left college a little early as I finished my exam a little early, and this plank parked RIGHT behind my car so I couldn’t reverse onto the gravel, I had no choice but to go across the grass.
Only went a few feet and I felt a dip and I thought “Oh no” (well, words to that effect…) and I was totally and utterly stuck. I started off in 2nd gear, nothing. I thought I’d try once more and nothing happened, sat there for a few seconds then I thought 10 thousand birds flew over my car, the entire car was PLASTERED in mud.
I step out of the car into mud, bearing in mind I was wearing slip on shoes and black socks… my shoes turned into boats. There was this guy parked not far away and I shouted and asked if he would mind giving me a hand as I had work in 30 minutes and he said, “No you’re alright love”…. thanks!! So then I had no choice but to abandon the car and go back to the college reception and ask for her help.
On the phone, she called tutor after tutor (all male, of course!!), and most of them were still teaching except this one guy who said, “I have towed 20 students out of the mud today and I’m not doing anymore, it’s not my problem”… thanks to you too!!
Anyway she got hold of this guy and he and one of his students met me at my car. As soon as he got the tow ropes out the doors of college totally opened and everyone was pouring out, and it felt like my car was involved in a circus preformance! “Oh man, look at that car *sniggers*, totally stuck there”…
Anyway my car got towed out to a “hurray!” from the audience and I drove off to meet another carer who I was going to peoples houses with (I do home care). I had to take my socks off and rinse them outside the car, and she gave me some wet wipes to go over my shoes and trousers… “you can’t go in peoples homes like that….” …. I had no intention of doing so!!!
I was 30 minutes late for my first call, which of course then meant I was 30 minutes late for every call I had this evening.
To top it all I bought a sandwich from the college cafe and I didn’t have time to eat it. I got out of my newly coloured brown car after a draining shift and I dropped the sandwich on the floor. Excellent!
Haha Time for bed I think!!
The Street Medic’s Survival Guide by Stuart Gray
Posted by flummoxed1 on Nov 22, 2009 in books, jobs/careers
As many of you are already aware by now am sure I have the ambition to be a paramedic. Being in the Red Cross and going out on duties I have mixed with quite a number of paramedics and watch the work they do and I have nothing but admiration for them. I’m also a keen reader of an online blog written by a paramedic (The Paramedic’s Diary) where he documents the callouts he has (edited for confidentiality, of course) and his thoughts and feelings on the job and the people he comes across.
Stuart Gray has published a few books in his time of being a paramedic, and he recently posted a link to this one in his blog. ‘The Street Medic’s Survival Guide’ and it looks superb. Definitely on my wishlist for Christmas! Here’s a description from SP Services:
The Street Medic’s Survival Guide has been written by an experienced frontline paramedic to fill a void that exists for everyone embarking on the journey into the profession. Even if you are just thinking about becoming a paramedic, this book will take you through the realities of the job – the stuff they don’t tell you in training school or university.
Written with humour and common sense by the author of ‘A Paramedic’s Diary – Life and Death on the Streets’, the book will open your eyes before you embark on the long, arduous training programme that is standard for paramedics-to-be. Everything you need to know about ‘out there’ is in here, including:
- The recruitment and training process
- Salary and work conditions
- How to use the radio properly without making a fool of yourself
- How to wear uniform properly, including how to iron it!
- Call types and how to handle stress
With illustrations and real-life examples throughout, this book is destined to become the ‘how to’ bible of paramedicine.
Woohoo!!!
Let’s have a moan
Posted by flummoxed1 on Nov 18, 2009 in Uncategorized
Sigh. I dunno. Today I’ve been feeling really fed up, I feel like biting the head off everything that moves but that could be because the samurai swords are attacking my insides for the new few days. A month flies by and they’re back before you know it! Or it could be because my dad is such a pain to live with at times. He’s in one of them moods today where it’s pick-pick-pick. I have worked SO hard this afternoon around the house, done cleaning and washing etc but he’s still picking and it does get me down. Quite often, to be honest.
Everything I’ve done this evening I’ve been waiting for him to criticise, I know him so well I can tell exactly what he is going to say. I’m tired to death of it. Roll on next weekend so I get a break. The more often I get a break the better to help save what’s left of my sanity.
I really wish my counselling appointment wasn’t cancelled on monday. Perhaps I’d feel a bit better now, I dunno. I have quite a bit going on now, and to add there is my uncles funeral next Tuesday in which I am torn whether or not to go because my grandad hates my existence, and always has ever since I was born, when I have done absolutely nothing wrong.
Roll on bedtime. I need a good cry.
Sorry, moany post.
Chasing Cars (No, not Snow Patrol)
Oh before I forget, here’s the link to fireworks photos I took on Bonfire Night: http://www.esteedphotography.com/2009/11/05/bonfire-night/
I’ve been really busy lately with everything. As I type my dad is talking about his girlfriend and it would be nice to spend an hour with him and not hear him talk about her. She is the cause of a lot of our problems although he fails to realise it, and it makes me so angry sometimes I just need to bite my tongue.
Well I start my new job this week. I had the induction last Friday and it was so indepth, so much to remember, just hope I can cope with it! I was given a HUGE folder to look through, as well as some forms to keep and I have sorted them out ready for my first round, visiting the clients in their home. I’m a little nervous, a little excited, also a little upset because I won’t be working at the sheltered housing scheme as much any more, it’s looking uncertain as to whether I can return there actually. I did enjoy the job, but I guess everyone needs to move on sometime. I need to focus on my college and at the same time generate enough income to keep the house running, it’s a heck of a lot on my mind.
Toby is laying beside me right now falling asleep on my lap (squeezing his head between my laptop and my belly), he’s so adorable. Although at the moment he’s got a thing with chasing cars and it is a bit concerning… thankfully he’s been on the lead when he goes to run after them so I can hold him back, but I hope he grows out of it soon because it’s not good! I think he developed it because of his chasing squirrels (just let out a little snort as it reminded me of the recently released movie, ‘Up’ – “SQUIRRELS!!” … er what’s she on? I hear you ask, watch the film you’ll understand)
Anyway I’m going to go to the Red Cross meeting now, think I got the First Aid updates due, plus we’ll be discussing the trauma management course next weekend I think, am looking forward to that. Exhausting weekend but a huge learning experience.
See ya.
Bonfire Night
I have chocolate on my laptop. Ain’t that typical. I am half tempted to lick it as I LURVE chocolate but that would be just gross.
So yeah back to college now and to say it’s giving me a headache is an understatement. I’m finding Chemistry incredibly difficult at the moment and spent practically all day yesterday trying to get my head around ‘moles’, molecular masses and how to calculate volume of moles in a solution and basically hardcore chemistry. No faffing about this is the core of what chemistry is all about and it’s so difficult!!
To make matters worse I have a new job (yay me!), but it means I will need to miss two lessons coming up so that I can attend a training course I need to go on, two lessons doesn’t sound like much but it is really. I do study a lot outside of the class though which is in my favour.
Jim came down last night and it’s so good to see him again, it really is. I miss him a lot when he’s away and I just feel much more content when he is here. He bought us a curry earlier which definitely warmed us up in this cold weather and now dad and Jim are watching the footy while I go out every now and then, taking photos of the fireworks as it’s Bonfire Night.
If the photos are any good, I’ll upload them.
Toby was managing well with the fireworks until about 30 minutes ago and now he is shaking like a leaf. Poor little thing. I’m finding it hard to type as he is sitting next to me on the sofa, leaning against my arm, just now he was laying by me trying to get his head under the laptop to hide. He’s getting a lot of cuddles tonight.
I’m OK
Siiiiigh… I feel bad. It’s half term and I should be studying but it’s a matter of finding the time. I’m working practially all this week. I was working monday, Tuesday, training course today and tomorrow, then working Friday, Saturday and Sunday – then back in college on monday. Time just whizzes by and while I’m glad to be doing things and I also like being in work, there’s part of my brain nagging saying I shouldn’t, but debts can’t pay by themselves.
Toby is sitting behind me on this chair – when will he realise this chair is for one person? I’m too soft, I know I am. But he’s so gawd damn cute I can’t help myself.
I dunno I’m juggling quite a bit and I’ve got so much going on in my head it makes me feel down but I’m trying to keep my head up, keep smiling, and keep saying “I’m OK”.
College and Counsellors
Well I have just done a much needed update to the ‘about me’ section. Feel free to check it out! =)
my psychology teacher is also my personal tutor. Last week we have one to one meetings with our personal tutor to talk about how college is going, any problems etc before half term (which starts tomorrow, yay!!). The meetings are 15 minutes long and I went for mine and the guy who’s “appointment” was before mine was still in the room. As I sit down he asks if it’s ok if he could stay and I said yes, even though I didn’t really want to. The personal tutor was fine with it, and didn’t say otherwise so I just went along with it because I didn’t want to be rude. In all actuality I wish it really was ‘one on one’ so I could talk to my tutor properly. I am struggling. I’m finding the work hard and I’m just about keeping on top of it and I wanted to talk to my tutor about one of my lecturers but I couldn’t when this guy was in the room. Whenever I started talking about something, he’d butt in then he’d talk and go off on a tangent and in the end I thought what’s the point? To be honest I was bitterly disappointed by it. I had my counselling session in college on monday and I mentioned it to her, and she said I could still talk to my tutor or just unload onto her, which I did.
I think I’ve missed something out of this blog so you’re probably a bit confused… A few weeks ago I brokedown in college, I have so much going on I ended up telling all to my personal tutor and she refered me to the college counsellor. I told her I already see a counsellor but I didn’t have an appointment for another few weeks, and she said the wait was too long so I’ve been seeing my college counsellor every week (twice, so far) as well as my other counsellor (who I see roughly 4 – 6 weeks). I’m not sure what to do with my other counsellor… we have a ‘review session’ coming up to decide to stay counselling or not. Seeing as I’m seeing the college counsellor every week for a while I’m not sure if I should carry on with the other one? I don’t know.